When I was thirteen years old, my grandmother gave me a leather-bound edition of Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. ‘It’s a little dark,’ she said. ‘But I think you will love it anyway.’
I fell. Pretty hard.
Truth is, I’m a sucker for them. Mysterious love stories. Slow burn love stories. Tortured love stories. I love them all.
More than that, I love love.
Love is a feeling. Its intensity takes us by surprise, it terrifies us, makes us both vulnerable and resilient. Makes us both giddy with joy and achingly sad. But love is also visible. You can see it on people. You can see it in couples. Looks shared across a crowded room. A birthday party packed with other people’s children, chaos in abundance, a shared thought about what happened to the old life you had together, which presents itself in a soft, self-aware, shared smile . An outstretched hand on a hill, so your partner does not fall. A hug that can cure even the most painful hurts.
I write about love because I don’t want to read things unless they come with a happy ending. There is too much hurt in the world. And if I wanted to read about bad shit happening to people, I could just turn on the news.
My copy of Rebecca is worn now. It was printed the year I was born — almost as though it was printed just for me. I pull it out most years. Sometimes, I read it cover to cover in a single day. Sometimes I read just the opening chapter, sometimes just the first sentence — Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. Sometimes I just hold it to feel close to my grandmother who is no longer here with me.
I write love stories because I don’t want to write about anything else.
Do you have a love story that changed your life? Let me know what it is!
Let me tell you what else is happening in Amandaland.
Book updates:
Copy edits are done on The Last Resort. It’s been a really exciting month for book related things. I can’t share any of it yet, but I promise the minute I can, I will.
What am I watching?
I got into a funk after Taskmaster and Mix Tape both finished in the same week. Lucky it has been very busy here with work related stuff. But yes, I’m having Matt Baynton withdrwals. Send help.
Glastonbury / Oasis / Wimbledon / English summer stuff
I’ve not wanted to be in another country for summer more. If the northern hemisphere is done with Summer, we’d be happy to take it back by the way.
Chat soon.
